Very Suspicious Hats

I really need to start remembering to post before eleven at night. This whole "Oh, look, it's almost tomorrow" system isn't working out so well.

Anyhoo, I was thinking about suspiciousness. Like, what makes someone seem suspicious? Squinty eyes? Furtive movements? Ketchup-and-cheese sandwiches? Well, I was thinking about it, and thanks to a story that I'm pretty sure I can't post until it's been judged, I've decided that hats are a deciding factor in suspiciousness. Yes, I'm serious.

Let me prove it to you. Think of a generic suspicious person. Now think of what that generic suspicious person is wearing. There's a hat in there, right? Now think of your suspect without the hat. Unless they have very suspicious hair, of which I cannot think of an example, a good bit of the suspiciousness is lost.

So, now that we've established that hats can enhance suspiciousness considerably, are there any hats that are more suspicious than others? Like, a wide brimmed hat, other than something along the lines of a pink sombrero, will be very suspicious because it hides most of the suspects face. A mickey mouse hat? Not so much. In fact, that kinda detracts from the suspiciousness. Would you arrest someone in a mickey mouse hat? No. You'd stare at them, and maybe snicker, but you wouldn't arrest them, unless you're a member of the fashon police.

Given that I've spent several hours watching crime shows over the past few weeks, I'd call this topic researched, in a very loose sense of the word. And my quote-on-quote research proves my point. About seventy-five percent of the suspects eventually arrested were wearing a hat (and generally sunglasses) at some point during the show, and maybe half of those at the time of their arrest. I do know that crime shows don't show actual statistics, but they do show people's perspective of what makes people suspicious. And from what I see, hats are a big part of it.

Anyone else got an opinion on this?