Sunday, January 28, 2007

Congratulations, you're dead.

Now that I think about it, I was asking for it. Still, it was the strangest fatal shooting I've ever experienced. Pretty much the only one, actually.
Perhaps I should explain. I was going home from work, just I do every day, and I had to go through an alleyway to get to my car. It was a dark, damp one, the exact kind where you're just waiting to get mugged.
"Don't move," came the voice from behind me. "Put your hands on your head." The barrel of a gun pressed into my back.
"Alright, alright, just don't shoot." I was a little alarmed. Can you blame me?"
"Hand over your money."
I obeyed without question, pulling my wallet out and holding it behind me. A gloved hand snatched it from mine. Then another grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face my attacker.
"Goodbye," the masked woman snarled, pressing the gun to my forehead. I closed my eyes, waiting for the shot. I could almost feel her finger on the trigger, waiting for the exact moment to pull it.
So I was a little suprised when she shot me with a water gun.
"Congratulations. You're dead."
"I'm serious. You're dead. Here." She handed me a folder filled with papers. "Body found in an alleyway near 6th and Mullberry, all valuables missing. Give that to the police." She pulled out a purple marker and started drawing a circle on my forehead. "Shot once through the head with a small caliber gun. Witnesses report hearing a shot around...." She checked her watch. "6:13 PM."
"Um...." I tried to think of something to say. "Why?"
"I'm not telling you my motive so you can't tell the police. Remember, you're dead. Dead people don't tell the police who shot them."
"Can I have my wallet back?"
"Oh, sure. Just remember, give that folder to the police as soon as possible." She handed me my wallet. "Or I'll just keep killing people." The water gun came to my forehead again. "Like you."

It's late, I'm tired, and I had a story in my head, so I typed it out, and here you go. Enjoy.

No comments: