Black

There was never a night so black as the night of the invasion.

I was a soldier then, convinced that my country could do no wrong. I was young, almost in love. Almost, not quite. Not enough to keep me from enlisting at any rate. I knew that I would have to fight, that men would die. That was what happened in war. I knew that I might die. It didn't seem to matter so much, somehow. I don't think I knew what death was. I don't think any of us did. Death is something that resents being pinned down.

There was never a night so black. Trust me.

I was a soldier, in the prince's own squadron. I'd shown exceptional skill with a sword, they told me, and so I received this honor. I would be on the front lines, taking no prisoners, with glory ripe and ready for the taking. I knew that I would kill someone. I knew that I would kill a lot of people. But they were the enemy. They were more beasts then men. At least, that's what they told us.

Stars haven't seen a night so black as that. Even they hid their faces.

I was a soldier. I was a good guy. I was a hero.

I never realized I was an enemy as well.

Black. Only black. No moon, no stars, just black.

He was a soldier. He was the enemy. I should have killed him. I knocked his sword to the ground, held my sword to his throat, smiled. Why did I smile?

Why did he?

Black skies, black smoke from the oily torches. Black swords, black smiles.

I was a soldier. I had to do it. He was a soldier. He was the enemy. I could kill him, I would kill him!

So why did he smile?

Black hearts.

I was a soldier. Soldiers kill people. He was a soldier. He killed people. He would kill me. I could kill him. I should kill him. I was a soldier. I smiled to kill people.

He smiled to be killed.

I killed him.

There was never a night so black as the night of the invasion.

I don't smile anymore. I know what death is. It resents being pinned down, but you can pin it down regardless. And it smiles at you. It smiles because as you pin it down, it takes something from you. It takes something you can never take back.

I was a solder. I killed again. I became a hero, a good guy, with glory beyond what I could dream. But it doesn't mean anything. I don't smile anymore.

But he smiles. He smiled as he died. I don't know his name, I don't know his past.

All I know is he smiled. And I killed him. He still smiles as I suffer.

When I die, I shall smile.

There was never a night so black.

A bit darker than usual, I'm afraid. I started typing and this is what came out this time. Enjoy.