Ok, so the tech support people really do live in India. The one that I talked to was named Mohammed. I don't think he'd ever heard of "A cd broke into hundreds of tiny pieces inside my disk drive and I can't get all the little shards out" before. He's sending me a new disk drive.
Also, Dell has really annoying hold music. It changes about every twenty seconds, and is occasionally interupted by a pleasant voice talking about what your problem might be if you've forgotten to plug in your monitor or something. I felt rather like blowing up the phone after a while. I don't have superpowers, though, so I couldn't without risking my call actually getting through while I was trying to find the explosives. Ah well.