Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Fashion Advice

“You have the worst taste in clothing, human.” Wisp curled around the closet bar, calmly sorting through her shirts. “I assure you you are not an autumn. Oh dear, is that glitter?”
“My name is Amelia,” she corrected for the millionth time. “Get out of my closet.”
“I'm waiting for the rat to come out.” The tiny dragon gestured to a little hole in the corner of the floor. She felt a little nauseous at the thought, and looked away. “And I decided to take the opportunity to examine your wardrobe. You have very little taste.”
“You don't even wear clothes!” she objected. “How would you even know?”
“I have seen many fashions come and go! I am an expert. I watched Style and You for four years.”
“...You watch television.”
“It is my great regret that you don't own one.” The dragon shook his head. “A pity. I think you would benefit from Our Host Jennifer's wisdom.”
“Oh yeah?” Amelia raised one eyebrow, tugging her favorite shirt away from the dragon's claws. “Then enlighten me.”
“For starters, you are not an autumn. You are a spring. Glitter is so last year, and you seem to favor the 'baggy old lady' style of shirts.”
She blinked. “My shirts are not...”
“And,” he continued, “Your jeans are an unflattering cut for you—you want to emphasize the length of the leg and diminish the hip with your body type.”
“Excuse me?”
“You have no accessories, your shoes are hardly suitable for yardwork, and Oh My Gosh, girl, you need help.” The dragon looked smug.
She stared for a moment. “...Get out of my closet.”

1 comment:

Dana said...