Thursday, March 11, 2010

Flirting 101

A bit of introduction is in order for this one. This isn't an entire scene, and as such, it's almost entirely dialouge,between Alice, a librarian, and Marcelle, a much older librarian. This coversation came out of Marcelle wanting Alice to flirt with library patron Quinn, in order to get him to play the Mad Hatter for the library's upcoming book day. Alice refused flat out, and the conversation proceeded to here. It's short, and a bit different than what I normally try to write, but I liked it so much I just had to share.

“Well… We were going to plan the whole thing out, but then I mentioned Quinn, and Janice…” She blushed a little. “She’s been spending a little too much time in the historical romance section, if you ask me. She has some very… creative… ideas.”
“You’re impossible.” Alice turned away again.
“It was Janice that wanted to… Oh, fine. If you won’t flirt with him, I will.”
“You?” Alice did her very best not to look horrified. “But he’s twenty years…”
“Maybe he likes older women. That’d be quite nice, actually.” She mused. “Me, Mrs. Hunter, most envied woman this side of central branch. ‘Oh, Mrs. Hunter,’” her voice went up several octaves as she spoke, “’how did you ever catch such a prize of a man,’ they’ll ask me. ‘I’m so jealous, Mrs. Hunter!’ ‘Share with us your man catching secrets!’ And I’ll tell them—being sure to show off my huge diamond wedding ring from that fancy jewelry store where he works—I’d say ‘oh, it’s easy girls, you’ve just got to wear a short skirt and heels, and red lipstick, and you have to tell him just how handsome that fedora makes him look, or how much you admire his hairstyle every time you see him—don’t pay any attention to it if he seems a little creeped out, that’s just how men show affection. And of course, of course, you have to bat your eyes at him all the time. Wear lots of mascara, or fake eyelashes; that’ll be sure to get his attention. And swoon, girls, you have to swoon. Men love it when you swoon. Try and aim it so they can catch you in their big strong arms, because it’s not half so romantic if you get a concussion.” Marcelle acted everything out as she spoke it, batting her eyes and fake swooning, and Alice began to laugh. “Be sure to always act dainty and womanly… Though chivalry might be dead for some of your men—not for mine of course, but if they won’t be a gentleman, than I suppose daintiness isn’t required. It may still help though. Be sure to be afraid of spiders. Scream whenever you see one; this will give him opportunity to prove his manly courage and rescue you without expending too much effort. And of course…”
“Stop! Stop, alright!” Alice couldn’t stop laughing. “You’ll scare him into never coming here again!”
“Well, what choice do I have?” Marcelle acted injured, though there was a smile in her eyes. “When our only single, young, pretty blonde librarian refuses to do a little flirting in the name of literacy?”
“I’m still not gonna flirt with him.” Alice said, wiping here yes. “But…”
“But the flirting’s the fun part!”
“But I will ask.”
“That’s better.” Marcelle looked as smug as a cat. “He always comes in on Thursdays, so tomorrow, try not to look quite so much like a nun, alright?”
“I do not look like a nun!”

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