tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25210498.post460122734075461235..comments2023-10-14T06:27:54.481-06:00Comments on The Art of Observation: Random snippetsA.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00372981482882320883noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25210498.post-60220179674636199332011-01-02T17:26:56.136-07:002011-01-02T17:26:56.136-07:00I have to admit, this isn't my favorite Dead S...I have to admit, this isn't my favorite Dead Spirit excerpt ever, but he's still so interesting that I don't really mind. The Bird piece felt a little off, too--I have to agree with Dana on the slight melodramatic feel. Not to say either of them are bad, but I think part of it is that tension and climax don't have to be contained in the vague prophecy kind of language to still be good.<br /><br />I love the little bit with the storymaker. Really awesome. Please write more of it, and write it like that. Lovely description and a really delicate, compelling kind of feel that's really cool.ivyhttp://verumdiligo.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25210498.post-46169712647322907612010-12-31T11:00:48.954-07:002010-12-31T11:00:48.954-07:00Awesome. You managed to get one non-depressing one...Awesome. You managed to get one non-depressing one in there! I loved the description in that one. And with your depressing ones, I like the conflict and tension you brought out in these specifically. The third one might be my favorite. I really like that ending. The one thing I would say in critique is that the dialogue in the first story seemed a little over-the-top dramatic. It may even work in context, but it seemed pretty melodramatic.<br /><br />Also, I seriously think you oughtta write a Dead Spirit screenplay (not that I'd love to play him in the near future of anything...) But seriously.Dananoreply@blogger.com